the mid-sermon head bob

some things happen only to those of us that lead small churches.  there is simply no other arena for this type of diversion.

yesterday an elderly gentleman who is an occasional attender (his granddaughters like our children’s ministry) was at our meeting.  i think he comes when he needs a nap.

i am not kidding.

yesterday, before i was even finished with my warm up (for all the non-preachers out there, the “warm up” is the pre-sermon monologue that mixes a preview of the coming awesomeness with a little endearing humor), my narcoleptic friend began nodding.

i experienced a brief moment of panic (“am i really this tedious?”), so i did what all preachers do: i turned up the volume.  i issued forth with passion, but my drowsy devotee continued to snooze.

i toyed briefly with the idea of having someone wake him up but then i thought, “let him sleep.  maybe he was up all night with an emergency.  or maybe i really am this tedious.”

as i was bringing my presentation to a close, i happened to glance back in the direction of my somnolent parishioner.  he was comatose.  his head was almost on his knees, and i was literally afraid he was going to fall face-forward out of his chair.  the teenagers in his proximity were much more interested in him than me.

i immediately led the congregation in prayer so he would be less conspicuous.

regular readers of these irreverent ramblings will be proud to know that i as i was greeting mr. van winkle on his way out of the building, i fought off the urge to ask him how he liked the message.

at least he was there.





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