your best christmas gift now

i hesitate to use words like “greatest” and “ultimate” and “superlative” because they are extremely big words and i hate to get your hopes up (and i just can’t handle the pressure). but my precocious friend, brian webster, sent me a link to the greatest, most ultimately superlative christmas gift ever.  try to get your mind around this…

joel osteen’s mega-seller, “your best life now” has become a board game!         in excelsis deo!!

the potential benefit from such a product is staggering.  from his review of the game on, tim writes:

Players begin at the “Today” space and work their way towards the “Tomorrow” space. Or as the manual says, “You’re starting the game ‘Today’ and playing for your full potential ‘Tomorrow.’” I wonder if backsliders can play the game backwards.

Players progress through seven levels in the game. Each level has a challenge that must be overcome in order to progress to the next stage. Naturally, these levels relate to the seven steps of living at your full potential.

The first person to reach “Tomorrow” wins the game. He opens the My Miracle envelope and reads about the goals and promises of all players. The other players must now help the winner reach his goal by fulfilling their promises to live Your Best Life Now! No word on whether the losers get to have a good life too, or if they are condemned to mediocrity.

And that’s the game. I feel dirty.

You know, as I read through the game I was drawn, somewhat nostalgically, to an episode of The Simpsons I watched many years ago. In that episode Springfield has gotten a professional soccer team. At the beginning of the first match, soccer hero Pele is paraded onto the field. He stands at center

field and says, “Pele is king of the soccer field. To be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield wax paper.” The owner of the team then hands him a giant bag of money and Pele marches off the field. I can’t help but think that this game represents just that. “Endless Games” handed Osteen a big ol’ bag of money to use his name and the title of his book. I’m guessing, though, that I am the only person in the world who actually owns this game.

look at it this way, dear readers: this may be our last christmas on planet earth.  i mean, we don’t know, right?  therefore, it stands to reason (to me, anyway) that we should wring all the festive, holiday gusto out of this life that we can.  and if a board game can help you live “your best life now” then by all means play, oh blessed one, play!


One thought on “your best christmas gift now

  1. If my life is a board game then I can more closely relate to “Operation” or “Clue” or in my case “No Clue.” Let’s not forget “Hungry Hungry Hippo.”

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