from the mailbox: part three

one final word on “goodness.”  we had a funeral on the church this week so, naturally, my thoughts turned to my own mortality.  i am not afraid to die and i don’t care much what most people (there are a few, but very few) think about me.  still, this week i wondered (for a fleeting moment) what people would say about me after i died (i know, i have a pride problem).  i think the best i could hope for would be for my wife and son to say, “he was a good man.”

well, that might be a problem because i am not good.  and i cannot become good.  especially with the new insight i have gained from this study.  biblical goodness seems like a ridiculous, unattainable goal.  still, i refuse to settle for “adequate.”  i feel like maybe, if i really apply myself, i might be able to make “adequate.”  but “adequate” is not my goal, “good” is my goal.  i have come to understand that the only way i can be “good” if there is more of jesus in me than me.  it all just seems a little overwhelming.


i have several very good friends that regularly read these humble ramblings and today my thoughts go to you, my brothers.  i am more aware than i have ever been of the value you guys have in my life–a worth that cannot be measured or acknowledged.  i guess i am trying to say “thank you” for what you mean to me.   in my quest toward “goodness,” i realize that i have a chance because i have models and monitors and motivators.  i am following some genuinely “good” men and i am intimate with several more who are on the journey with me. i cannot begin to estimate the value of these men, and i cannot properly express my gratitude.

i need to die, guys.  will you help me?  please continue to help me.  i really want to be “good.”  i promise i will do my best to faithfully return your investment in me.


2 thoughts on “from the mailbox: part three

  1. Two things:

    Yes. I will help you not be one of those pastors that I want to punch.

    Secondly. As a general rule don’t ask anybody on the Internet to “help you die.” I’m just saying.

  2. Randy, my friend. Let me encourage you by saying that the Lord is surely at work in you to produce his goodness. This is clearly evidenced in your intense desire to be good. He is good (Psalm 136 – before all of His creative, redemptive and other attributes are mentioned, it says, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good…”), and He is at work in you.

    Love you, bro. Also, I agree with Spotts…”help you die” is a bad internet idea.

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