it IS the apocalypse!

i am thrilled to have my buddy, randy (we call him “eak”), as a new reader of these humble ramblings.  eak is a neat guy and, if you’ve read his witty comments herein, you know that he is smarter than me.  what you have no way of knowing (unless you are very local) is that eak is almost as big as me.  if it weren’t for lack of ability, eak and i could fill the interior defensive line of most nfl teams quite nicely.  in fact, ever since colorado was voted “fittest state in the union,” eak and i are not allowed to stay in colorado overnight on the same night…they’re afraid we’ll ruin the curve.  if you haven’t gotten the picture, randy and randy are large squared.

very early this morning i was on the way to meet with “my guys” when i pulled up behind a taxi cab at a stoplight.  i didn’t think about the type of car is was until my headlights washed across the chrome badges on the truck lid.  it was a toyota prius! (see image) in case you don’t know, the prius is a hybrid and it is a very tiny car.  my first thought was, “wow, someone is really serious about the environment.”  my second thought was, “it’s probably the penny-pinching cab company’s attempt to save money on gas.”  it was my third thought that broke me up.

what if eak and i tried to get into the back of that car?  in colorado?

i remember the first time i ever rode in a cab.  it was one of those old checker cabs and the space in the back was enormous.  as that prius cab pulled away from the light, i imagined my big buddy and me trying to cram our corpulent carcasses into that petite car.  further, i envisioned the horrified look on the face of the driver as eak and i hailed that diminutive cab in front of the denver airport.  and the entertainment we might provide to all the other travelers as we climbed in (is it acceptable to wave off the first cab in line and wait for something a little more size appropriate?).  what if we just couldn’t fit?

i laughed so hard i almost wet my pants.


3 thoughts on “it IS the apocalypse!

  1. Isn’t there a line in Folsom Prison Blues that says, “I shot a bike rider in Reno just to watch him die”? Just kidding. I DID almost run over one IN Colorado though.
    My first thought was “oh crap!”. My second thought was “what the heck is that contraption he’s on?”.
    Yeah, take that Mr. fit freak. Not so healthy now, are you?

    I am nowhere near as smart as Randy. I can only hope to be as handsome, accomplished, respected, renowned, loved, and admired when I reach his age.

    And yes, I’m pretty much prius-proof. I can see one of us in the back seat, or as much as we could be, and the other one tied on the roof like some freshly killed moose or a parade float.

  2. Randy, You would be in more trouble than you know. I’ve ridden in the back seat of a Prius. My friend hit a small bump. not a crator mind you just a small bump. I hit my head on the ceiling. for your readers who don’t know me I’m the anti-Randy. I can play handball against a curb.

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