i am again compelled to make changes by a group of guys in my fellowship who are smarter (and younger…much, much younger) than me. we’ve decided to enhance our internet presence. an idiot can see the proliferation of people in our culture (especially young people) who are searching for meaning, and they are using the internet. to that end, we are going to make a concerted effort to provide a forum for sincere questions and honest answers–nakedly honest answers. we are asking god to help us become a source of life-giving information to people who will never walk on our campus.
while i am totally on board with utilizing technology (or pretty much anything else, for that matter) to expand the kingdom, i’m troubled by the dearth of face-to-face conversation in our lives. ours is a lonely society and technology is largely to blame. i’ve written about it in this space here and here.
i am encouraged, however, by a trend in the comments of some of america’s brightest church leaders. please allow me to share a couple…
Just read a blog post from a friend who has been through one of the most horrific experiences a parent could ever experience: The death of a little son. But what intrigued me andchallenged me is that after three months of despair, he and his wife are continuing to follow God’s leading to plant a church.
Much lesser things have hindered my faith.
A post like that jolts me out of the superficial mode that is required to blog on a daily basis. Blogging is a lot of fun for me. But it has very little to do with my intimate relationship with God, with the heart-wrenching issues of life, and the very realsense of calling God has placed on me.
I don’t share that stuff here.
All that to say… if all we’re doing is blogging, Twittering, Facebooking… we’re numb.
Life is lived off the page. (Ben Arment – History in the Making)
To reach the next generation for Christ, we must be three things:
- Conversational.
- Missional.
- Generational.
Let’s start today with conversational. This generation craves intimacy in relationships. They want to know and be known.
Too many Western Christians are turned off (or intimidated by) the young, tech savvy, tattooed, and pierced young adults.
Some churches preach against these outward appearances. Others are striving full-time to be “cool” and “relevant” believing the right environment, best light show, or hot sermon series will win the young adults to Christ.
Both these strategies miss a key ingredient. This generation wants to talk. Conversation matters. Relationships matter. Intimacy matters.
Here are some rules of conversation:
- Before they listen to you, they want to know if you’re listening to them. If you’ll get to know them, they will listen to you.
- If you’re quick to judge, don’t bother trying to connect.
- It doesn’t matter if you’re cool or relevant. It matters if you bring the real you. Fake is the worst thing you can bring.
- The fifth conversation might be the difference maker. In my “Christian Witness Training” course at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, we were trained to knock on doors, present the gospel, and ask people to pray the sinners’ prayer. While this might occasionally still work, it isn’t a likely path to life change. This generation builds trust slowly. If you don’t plan on having a third, fourth, or fifth conversation, you might not want to spend a lot of time on the first.
- They want to be loved. My most consistent conversations with 20-somethings happens in the gym. After getting to know some young men, I genuinely care for them and believe in them. I try to tell them often, “I’m proud of you… I’m pulling for you… I believe in you… I love you.” They seem hungry for acceptance and affirmation and respond well to sincere Christian love.
(Craig Groeschel – swerve.lifechurch.tv)
are they correct? will we (the church) benefit by a resurgence in face-to-face conversation? and if so, why? it seems to me that the best way to learn the art of conversation is to practice.
hey, i’m available…let’s have a cup of coffee.
Filed under: biblical community, christianity, church, leadership, religion, spiritual, technology
Face to face conversation is irreplaceable. What the tech world has come up with are ways to stay connected or build connections with people that are not within Face range.
All church leaders should not view tech tools as either or. They should be thankful that they live in a world with so much opportunity to get the message out. Never has there been a time when the message can be sent out so efficiently.
God made facebook, myspace and twitter just like he made the cell phone. Facebook has 170 million users. They recieve 850 million photos a month. They obviously are on to something.
Randy, very good post. Much to think about. David’s comment was “right on”.
One of the opportunities within the ministry of preachers I see coming in the next few years may come from our new President Obama. He is a very gifted speaker from the podium and I suspect from the pulpit as well. Personally I am attracted to very good speaking (preaching) from individuals that have a good command of our language in the spoken venue. They usually are very good conversationalists as well.
This may bring a “renaissance” of great preaching and gifted conversationalists that can “connect” with people.
As a twenty-something myself, I am frequently asked if I have a Facebook page, etc…, and time and time again I say no. That is an issue that God dealt with my heart a couple of years ago now. I am not saying that Facebook, MySpace, etc are a sin to be on, but it is so easy to live vicariously through them. It is so easy to get wrapped up in keeping up with people that one can completely forget what face to face communication is. I had to get rid of my MySpace page for that simple reason. I was living life online.
As Robby says all of the time, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. How can one truly show compassion and care when they are online. One of my favorite quotes is “talk is cheap, supply exceeds demand.” Words are meaningless if they are not backed up by actions. When my father died a couple of years ago, I had some people text me and tell me that they were sorry, but do I remember who those people were? Of course not. On the other hand, I had a few friends take time off of work and attend my father’s funeral, and they didn’t even know the man. I remember every one of those people. I remember the people who would call me. I remember my college pastor at the time who came up to church in the middle of the night and spent time with me. I remember the people who would take me out to get my mind off of things.
I know that technology is here to stay, but it is unfortunate that the depth of relationships are at an all time low. I cherish the times that I get to spend with my friends and mentors. I don’t know people can exist without one on one encounters with others, especially in a difficult time. I guess I am just old-fashioned at the ripe old age of 25…
By the way, I go to work at 5 am, I’d love to have coffee with you if Starbucks was even open at the time…
[...] but my biggest problem with the encroachment of technology (as i’ve previously written here and here) is the tragic and inevitable erosion of [...]