can we talk?

i am not old, but i have old tendencies.  i struggle with the obtrusion of technology in our daily lives (see http://randymorgan.wordpress.com/2008/02/29/are-you-a-techncostal/) and i decry the demise of the most basic human courtesies.  i may not be old, but i am beginning to yearn for the halcyon (my dictionary.com “word of the day” reference) state of dementia.  let me tell you what i mean.

i was standing in line (tough, as i have patience issues) at wal-mart (one of my least favorite places on earth) the other day and i watched the teeming masses as they entered the store.  i swear (in a legal, not cursing sense) that seven out of ten shoppers were talking on their cell phones.  who are they talking to?  and what did they do with their hands (to say nothing of their minds) before the advent of cell phones?

then i was waiting for a take-out order at ted’s (our favorite local mexican eatery) when the waiter brought food to the lady ahead of me.  she was talking on her phone as he was trying to go over her order with her and she wouldn’t stop talking on her phone!  what happened to human decency?  are there not any parents anywhere that teach their children to be polite?  and, besides, i am in line behind her. 

my favorite, though, is when people stop at the post office, pick up their mail, and read it in their car.  we have a very small post office in our town (it has, like, nine parking spaces) and a burgeoning population.  can’t these idiots see the cars circling behind them waiting for a parking place?  i have a fantasy that includes tapping on their window and sharing a prophetic word.

i humbly (and quite publicly) confess my afore-mentioned struggle with impatience.  most of the time i race around like my hair’s on fire when i am facing no actual deadlines.  i don’t have to rush.  it is a compulsion that leads to other sinful behavior like screaming at slow-moving vehicles and thinking bad thoughts about people who are habitually late.  but as i age i am developing an appetite for discourse.  not debate, just friendly chit-chat with other humans.   i think it is a work the lord is doing in my life, because i see conversation (face-to-face…not via some electronic device) as a ministry the church has largely forgotten. loneliness is the scourge of our culture and suicide rates among the elderly are skyrocketing (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/24/health/main516175.shtml).  we don’t need porches on our houses anymore, because we don’t have time to sit and talk…our interests are drawn inside to the entertainment center.  in a single generation we have lost the gift of conversation, and the ministry of sharing in conversation.

i have grown more spiritually in the last few years than i did in the previous thirty, and i attribute this growth to what i call “focused conversation.” i still meet with my accountability partners every thursday morning (we’ve been meeting in one form or another for fifteen years). i started meeting with a couple of sharp young guys from my church once a week for breakfast–nothing formal, just iron sharpening iron (and we laugh. a lot). i still meet with my small group on sunday nights. these regular, face-to-face encounters have revolutionized my life. i don’t know how i survived without them.

here’s the bottom line: “visiting” (what we call it in oklahoma, except it’s pronounced “viz-tin”) is not just for senior citizens. it’s for christ-followers and those they are trying to influence. so close your freaking cell phone and have a conversation.

especially if you are in the car in front of me.